Wooing Lily Evans
by Monnigan
Summary: Sirius has, quite frankly, had quite enough of James pining after Lily. So what can a best friend do but step in and lend a little assistance?
1. The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes

**Chapter One**

_The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes_

James was having trouble concentrating on his homework.

Not because it was Transfiguration-- which, if he said so himself, he was quite good at-- and not because it was particularly hard. And not, for once, because Sirius was bothering him (he was quite alone at the moment). It was, in fact, because Lily Evans was sitting directly in his line of sight.

She was doing her homework as well, seated alone at a table on the opposite side of the room. And James had no doubt that she was aware that he was watching her and was teasing him because of it. Why else would she keep throwing back that glorious mane of hair so it caught the firelight and shimmered just so? Why else would she keep biting her bottom lip in that coquettishly thoughtful way? No, she knew full well that he was staring at her, and flaunting what he couldn't have.

The wily vixen.

"Oh, fairest Lily!" cried a sudden voice from behind James. He craned his neck around the back of his armchair to see Sirius, who had apparently just descended from the dormitory stairs. He had a hand flung up to his forehead in a melodramatic gesture, and wore a mournful expression. Peter and Remus were hovering behind him, looking highly amused. "How thy hair dost shine! How thy eyes of emerald doth pierce a man's soul! How thy beauty dost driveth men wild, particularly a certain bespectacled youth whose pining doth maketh me vaguely nauseous!"

James threw a cushion at his head. He ducked, grinning wickedly, and it hit Remus in the face. "Sorry, Moony," James said.

"Quite all right," he murmured dryly in reply, as the three of them made themselves comfortable on a nearby couch. "I've often felt like throwing much larger and heavier objects at him."

Sirius gave Remus a wounded expression. "You don't mean that, do you?"

"Of course he does," Peter piped up with a grin. "You can't tell us you don't realize how obnoxious you are."

"I am not obnoxious! I am charming and huggable. Which is more than I can say for Prongs, here," he added, casting a glance at James from under his mussed, dark hair. "He's been chasing the same girl for over two years, now, and she certainly doesn't seem to have any inclination to hug him. Not a very skilled Chaser at all, if you ask me."

"Oh, shut up," James muttered, glaring darkly at Sirius, and throwing in Remus and Peter for good measure. "She's going to give in soon. I can feel it, I can."

"Oh, she is not," Peter said dismissively. He turned to watch Lily for a moment. "You've asked her out once a day since fourth year and she's turned you down every last time."

"Yeah, but this morning at breakfast, she hesitated a bit before she said no."

"That was because her mouth was full and she had to stop to swallow," Remus pointed out. "She might not like you very much, but I doubt she wanted to spray you with English muffin."

"Well, then, there you go!" James announced triumphantly. "She doesn't hate me."

"Not enough to spray you with half-chewed foodstuffs?" Remus asked, raising a single slender eyebrow. James hated it when he did that.

"Yes," he replied staunchly. "See? We're making progress. I knew that the two of us being Head Boy and Girl together would help."

"Why do you like her so much, anyway?" Peter asked.

"Because she challenges him," Remus answered immediately, and James nodded slowly.

"I suppose that's it. Of course, it's also that she's gorgeous and smart and athletic and fiery and..." He trailed off with a small whimper.

Sirius abruptly laughed, and the other three turned to him, James realizing that Sirius had lapsed into uncharacteristic silence through the latter part of their conversation. The look on his face made James' heart sink; it was a look he was well used to, the look that said Sirius was planning something. The look that usually sent any nearby students edging hurriedly away. Normally, James would be well up for anything Sirius suggested, but if this had anything to do with Lily...

"I've decided," Sirius said.

They stared. "You've decided... what?" Peter finally said.

"That Prongs is utterly hopeless when it comes to the sacred art of the mating dance. Thus, I hereby proclaim myself his Authorized Romantic Supervisor Extraordinaire."

There was a moment of silence. Then Remus spoke. "His... ARSE?"

There was another pause while Sirius appeared to consider this. "Yeah, let's make that Official Romantic Advisor. Or something that can be abbreviated to "HOT STUFF."

Peter and Remus began to immediately try to figure out what could possibly be abbreviated to that, but James quickly interrupted them. "Wait. What are you talking about, Sirius?"

Sirius drew himself up importantly, puffing out his chest. "Well, as you may or may not have noticed, I have a certain... flair... when it comes to the ladies."

"Says the bloke who's never had a girlfriend," James grumbled. Yet, Sirius was right. He did have a way about the girls in the school. He flirted shamelessly with everyone-- even, on one memorable occasion, Professor McGonagall-- and he seemed able to set anyone of the female persuasion blushing-- even, on that memorable occasion, Professor McGonagall. Oh, sure, she'd been all business and told him to wipe that fool grin off his face before she did it for him, but she had definitely been pink-cheeked.

Sirius seemed to follow his line of thought, and smiled grimly. "Exactly. So I've decided to step in and guide you and the lovely Miss Evans together. With, of course, the help of my sidekicks." He beamed and put his arms around Remus and Peter's shoulders. Peter looked excited, and Remus resigned.

James, on the other hand, felt a deep sense of foreboding. "How exactly would you... 'guide' us together?"

"Well, Prongs, old mate, I hate to tell you this, but the reason that Evans doesn't want anything to do with you is the fact that she thinks you're a... how do I put this kindly...?" Sirius scrunched his face up thoughtfully, and then shrugged. "Well, she thinks you're an egotistical prat."

Remus eyed him. "How do you know that?"

"She told me."

"Oh."

James' mouth had dropped open. "But... But I'm not," he protested weakly.

"We know you aren't," said Remus, "but you certainly used to give off that impression. I mean, no offense, Prongs, but Lily really doesn't have any reason to see you as anything but an arrogant bully." He winced, as if it hurt him to have to say that about his friend.

Instead of protesting, James sank further back into his armchair, staring glumly at Lily. She had her chin in her hand and was looking off into the distance, evidently daydreaming. She was absolutely lovely. "Fine then, Padfoot. What do you think I should do?" he murmured wearily.

"Well, let's see." Sirius rubbed his chin, obviously reveling in having his advice asked about anything. After a moment, a decisive grin spread across his face. "Tell me, have you ever heard of The Beatles?"

Three blank faces greeted those words. "Beetles?" Peter said, his voice bewildered.

"Not beetles, The Beatles," Sirius replied with a roll of his eyes. "They're a really popular Muggle band."

Ahh. James would have grinned if he weren't feeling so apprehensive at the moment. Sirius had developed a penchant for Muggle pop culture just to irritate his strict, pure-blood parents. Though he'd moved out since then, he still evidently kept up with it.

"Okay, so what about them? What do they have to do with Lily?"

"Just this." Sirius leaned in conspiratorially, and, in spite of himself, James leaned in as well. "Girls are really suckers for romance, right? Well, I thought maybe we could..." As he went on, James felt his heart sink. No way would this work.

* * * * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, Padfoot," James said, for the three-hundred and thirty-seventh time. Or at least that was what it felt like.

"Stop worrying, it'll go over great! Trust me-- Ow! Peter, you stepped on my foot!"

"Quiet!" Remus hissed. They all fell silent.

The four of them were currently squeezed under James' Invisibility Cloak, moving slowly through the darkened halls of Hogwarts. James, personally, was beginning to wonder whether not speaking would make any difference-- to him, they sounded like a herd of elephants, awkwardly shuffling the way they had to.

By some miracle, though, they managed to make it through the Entrance Hall, out the heavy doors, and into the chill autumn night. James shivered as they threw off the Invisibility Cloak and made for the broom shed, and he didn't think it was entirely due to the cold. This was so stupid. He'd be humiliated.

He was startled out of his downward spiral of misery by Peter handing him his Cleansweep. Together, they mounted their broomsticks. Sirius looked positively giddy._ Sure, it's fine for him_, James thought sourly. _Even if it doesn't work, he's just going to find the whole thing funny_.

"Ready?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus and Peter nodded. James shook his head, which Sirius ignored. "Off we go, then." And with that, Sirius took off like an arrow, Remus and Peter close behind, towards Gryffindor Tower. After a moment, James followed._ I will never forgive Sirius for this_.

Oddly enough, soaring through the air like this, the wind ruffling his hair and making him wince even with his glasses, was so familiar and comfortable that James felt himself calm down slightly. It wasn't a big deal, really. Either Lily would be swept off her feet, or utterly disdainful. And she was already that towards him, so this couldn't make things any worse, could it?

They slowed to a hover outside a brightly-lit window of Gryffindor Tower. Faintly, he could hear voices from within. Sirius glanced at James and nodded towards it, grinning with anticipation. "Go ahead, Prongs."

James took a deep breath and glided forwards a foot to rap insistently on the window. The low murmur of voices inside cut off, then started again, this time with a hint of curiosity and perhaps anxiousness in them. After a pause, the curtains were drawn back and James stared straight into Lily's face through the windowpane.

He offered a feeble smile.

She violently wrenched the curtains closed again.

"Well, that didn't go over too well," Sirius remarked.

The curtains were drawn back again, and this time it was another girl on the other side of the window, one of Lily's dorm mates, Wendy. She stared for a moment, and then bemusedly opened the window. "What on earth are you four doing?" she whispered, blinking curiously. The other girls-- except for Lily-- crowded around the window as well, seeming to have come over quite suddenly giggly. James cleared his throat; He could see Lily in the room behind them, sitting with her face in her hands.

"I have come," he announced loudly, using the words Sirius had prepared for him, "with my backup--" he gestured towards the other three, hovering behind him-- "to serenade the lovely Miss Evans."

There was a fresh round of giggling, punctuated by Lily's groan.

James took another deep breath. No turning back now. Timidly, he began. "Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies..."

The girls stifled their giggles to listen intently. Lily had even, in spite of herself it seemed, removed her face from her hands and was watching expressionlessly. James felt his confidence increase. He'd never much thought about whether or not he had a good singing voice before, but apparently he did-- Wendy even had a slightly dreamy look on her face.

Finally, he reached the chorus, and his backup singers joined in, Peter and Remus mumbling, Sirius practically shouting with gusto: "Lily in the sky, with di-i-amonds!"

Lily gave an even louder groan at this, and buried her rapidly-reddening face in a pillow. But if Lily's face was red, it was nothing to how James' felt. Still, he bravely forged on in the song until it was complete. "The girl with kaleidoscope eyyyes..."

Finally, it was complete. Sirius managed to bow on his broomstick, and a glance over his shoulder told James that even Remus and Peter had enjoyed themselves highly. He, however, felt it would be quite nice at the moment if Voldemort appeared to kill him off.

He didn't.

"That was really romantic," one of the girls giggled, and turned to glare at Lily. "Come on, Lily! You can't be upset over that!"

Lily slowly stood and strode over to the window. James watched, his heart thundering in his ears, and tried to swallow.

"That was beyond humiliating," she said. "I can't believe you snuck out there to sing to me, of all things. You could get _us _in trouble, too, you know. Good _night_." And with that, she savagely slammed the window shut and jerked the curtains closed again.

James stared at it forlornly.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Peter murmured. Remus clapped him sympathetically on the shoulder.

"That was fun," said Sirius.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed.

Hearing this, not to mention seeing what was an undoubtedly a very ugly expression on James' face, he quickly added, "No-- I mean, I'm really sorry and everything, of course. But you have to admit, it was kind of fun."

As the Marauders glided back to the earth, James found he had to grudgingly agree. It wasn't as if he was any worse off with her, really, and it had certainly been an... experience. They landed and started to trek back over the lawns towards the broom shed, but--

"Well, now. What do we have here, my sweet?" James stared into the malevolently triumphant face of Argus Filch.


	2. Cauldrons

**A/N:** Thank you guys so much for reviewing! This is my first attempt at fanfic, and I was worried that no one would enjoy the story. ^^; So thank you for reassuring me and motivating me to continue.

**Chapter Two**

_Cauldrons_

The following night found the infamous Marauders doing decidedly menial work-- scrubbing frog guts out of the cauldrons in the Potions dungeon, to be precise. James would have almost preferred hanging from the ceiling in chains the way Filch had kept threatening.

"It was not my fault," Sirius announced, pausing to push back his hair, then grimacing upon realizing he'd just got frog innards in it.

James, personally, felt he quite deserved it. "Yes, it was. It was your idea."

"But you all went along with it! You're as guilty as I am."

Remus sighed, leaning back and wiping off his forehead. "Whoever's fault it was doesn't matter. You know, James, you're lucky you haven't lost your Head Boyship by now, what with everything we've done."

"I know, I know..."

"So," said Sirius. "I was thinking about the next stage of the plan, and--"

"What?" James cut in, horrified, and dropped his sponge. "You're saying you haven't given up on this yet?"

"Of course not!" Sirius looked highly affronted, and James understood why. When Sirius took it into his head to accomplish something, he'd let no power on earth stop him. Not even Filch and frog guts and failures, apparently. "I am your Official Romantic Advisor, after all. I refuse to stop until I see results, preferably of the snoggy variety."

"You really are an ARSE," Remus observed. Peter snickered.

"So, anyway, I was thinking about what we were talking about the other day, how Evans still sees you as a git."

"Mm-hmm," James replied tersely. No matter what Sirius came up with, he wasn't going along with it this time.

"And I thought that the serenade, romantic as it was, didn't really show her the nicer side of yourself."

"That's true," Remus said thoughtfully, picking frog out from under his fingernails. "What you should do is something that shows her that you've changed over the past couple of years."

"I guess," James said. "But how would I go about doing that?"

The group lapsed into silence for a moment as they pondered this, scrubbing the cauldrons absently. Finally, Peter offered timidly, "Maybe you could apologize to Snape."

James and Sirius choked.

"Please tell me you're joking," James said. "There's no way that I'm going to apologize to that greasy little toad. Wouldn't do it for a thousand Galleons."

"Me neither," said Sirius, eyeing Peter with alarm. "Showing her he's changed is one thing, but apologizing to Snivelly? Isn't that a little... drastic?"

"It's perfect," said Remus, and their heads swivelled as one to stare at him. "Well, think about it. Do you remember that day by the lake, after our Charms O.W.L.? Lily was furious about what you did to Snape, James. After that day, she seemed to hate you even more. If you apologized for it-- in front of Lily, of course-- she'd have no choice but to see you've matured."

James' scrubbing arm slowed and he stared into the depths of the frog-coated cauldron without really seeing it. It made sense, really. Remus did have a gift for putting things into perspective. Would it really be that bad, apologizing to Snape? Sure, it would be rather embarrassing, but if it had the added effect of causing Lily to see him in a new light, well... It certainly seemed worth it. And with that, he nodded firmly, glancing up at his companions, who were watching him over the rims of their own cauldrons. "I'll do it."

"Prongs, no," Sirius groaned. "As your Advisor, I have to advise you against this. The Slytherins will never let us live it down."

James gave him a level look. "Maybe not, but... who cares? I'm sick of this rivalry with them. I'm sick of being immature, I'm sick of caring what they think. Let them be amused or whatever. Does it really matter, in the end?"

They all stared at him. Finally, Remus exhaled, shaking his head with an expression like a proud parent. "Prongs, my boy, I do believe you're growing up."

James ignored this. He was busy thinking. "How," he said slowly, "can we make sure that Lily's in the right place at the right time so that she witnesses the apology?"

"Easy," Sirius said, who, seeing that James was definitely going along with the plan by now, seemed to have figured it was easier to join in than protest. "It will be even more amazing if you do it in front of a big group of people, right? So why not do it tomorrow at breakfast?"

"In the Great Hall?" Peter said, his eyes wide.

"Why not?" Sirius replied cheerfully. "If you're gonna do a thing, may as well do it properly. What do you say, Prongs?"

James nodded. "All right. Tomorrow morning it is." He tried to ignore the twisting feeling in his stomach at the thought of Snape's pale little face when he apologized. Apparently, he realized sourly, he did still care what the Slytherins thought a little, at least. Oh well. As long as it was for Lily, he would have to swallow his pride and just do it.

* * * * *

"Hurry up, Prongs."

"Shut up," James mumbled to Sirius. The four them were seated at the Gryffindor table, the Hall filled with the usual drone of voices that marked each morning at Hogwarts. Breakfast was quickly coming to a close, though, and he still hadn't done it.

He had barely eaten at all. He had spent most of the morning so far staring fixedly across the room at Snape, who was seated by himself at the Slytherin table, absently shoveling toast into his mouth while going over some paper or another. He still couldn't quite dredge up the nerve to make his way over there to apologize, but Sirius was right-- he had to hurry. He didn't have much time left.

"Okay," he muttered, gathering himself and rising slowly. "Okay, I'm gonna do it." Peter gave him an encouraging grin and Sirius clapped and cheered softly. Remus waved a makeshift flag, a napkin attached to a toothpick, which said 'Go Prongs!'

Taking a deep breath, he started to march over to the Slytherin table. Lily looked up as he passed, and he gave her a smile. She scowled in return, but at least she was watching.

The entire Great Hall seemed to fall into silence, an awed hush coming over the room as he strode across it. It was understandable; The rivalry between the Marauders and Snape and his gang was well-known. What did it mean that James was approaching the Slytherins?

"Sni-- Severus," he said formally once within earshot. Snape's greasy head jerked up and his hand flew, automatically it seemed, to his robes pocket to clutch at his wand. He didn't remove it, though; he shot a narrow-eyed glance at the staff table before shifting his glare back to James. "What are you doing?" he hissed. Again, understandable. The only time James had ever approached Snape was to hex him, but by unspoken rule neither dared do it in the Great Hall, in front of the teacher's eyes.

James cleared his throat and glanced at Lily. She was watching, as were most of the students. He raised his voice slightly so it would carry to her. "Do you remember that day in fifth year? After the Charms O.W.L.?"

Snape's eyes narrowed even further. Obviously, it wasn't a very fond memory for him. "What are you getting at, Potter?"

"Well, I wanted to..." He had to stop and swallow.

From across the hall, Sirius' voice, pitched low, reached him: "Do it, Prongs! For Lilmmphh!" That last was muffled as Remus hurriedly clamped a hand over Sirius' mouth. James glanced uneasily at Lily; She hadn't seemed to notice that little interruption, and was still watching James with mistrust written clearly in her features even from across the room. She thought he was going to do something mean again, it seemed. James' resolve firmed. He turned back to Snape.

"I wanted to apologize. What I did that day was wrong, and I'm sorry."

Dead silence. Somewhere in the room a fork clattered to the floor, and James detected no movement from the corner of his eye that might suggest someone picking it up. No, everyone was quite still, staring transfixed at James and Snape. Even the teachers.

For a moment, Snape looked quite as gob smacked as the rest of the room. He quickly regained his equilibrium, though, a delighted sneer spreading across his face. James clenched his fists at his sides to keep from punching him, the smug git. "Are you, now...?" Snape murmured.

"Yes," he replied stoically. "It was unnecessarily cruel and immature of me, so... I'm sorry."

A hushed babble broke out over the room, and one of the Slytherins burst into laughter. "Oh, this is priceless," she said, staring at James as if he were on display in the circus. More of the Slytherins began to titter, and Snape stood slowly. The two of them stared expressionlessly at one another for a moment.

"Tell you what, Potter," he said finally, a malicious smirk now on his face. "I'll forgive you, if you be my servant."

James blinked uncomprehendingly. "What?"

"You heard me. Carry my books, things of that nature. I'd ask you to do my homework for me, but you have all the intelligence of a troll, so I think I'll let you off of that."

James made a momentous effort to reign in his temper. "Sorry, _Snivellus_, but I don't think I want your forgiveness quite that badly." In fact, he added inwardly, he didn't want it at all. All he wanted was Lily's approval.

"Oh, come now, Potter. It won't be so bad. Here-- let's try your first task. Bark like a dog."

"What's wrong with barking like a dog?" Sirius' voice, quiet though it was, carried easily across the mostly-silent hall.

"I am _not_ barking for you, you slimy little prat."

"Come on, it's not that hard. Why, it would even be considerably more intelligent than most of the things that come out of your mouth."

"Why are you being so petty?" James growled. This was not going well. He had to leave, now, or risk losing his temper, which would undo anything he'd managed to accomplish. He glanced again at Lily.

Snape caught this, it seemed, with characteristic Slytherin shrewdness, and gave a harsh laugh. "Oh, so that's why you're doing this, is it? I suppose it was too much to hope that you'd really grown up at all. No, your 'apology' was for an entirely selfish reason. And you know, it's hopeless, Potter. She's never going to give in. For a Gryffindor Mudblood, she has a reasonable amount of intellect, and no one in their right mind would be attracted to you. May as well give it up, Potter." He leaned in, his eyes shining with malevolence and amusement, and finished, in a deadly soft voice, "She hates you."

James punched him.

"James, no!" came Remus' strangled voice over the sudden yells and shrieks, as well as Sirius' excited cry of, "Yeah! Kill the oily git!" James was barely aware of these things; They were pushed to the background by the sound of the blood rushing and his heart pounding in his ears. Who needed a wand, really? he mused vaguely, finding savage glee in the way his fist connected solidly with Snape's jaw again and again. Really, this way was much more satisfying.

And then he was quite suddenly flying backwards away from Snape, coming to land on his feet a few meters away. He blinked-- he couldn't move an inch. It was as if he had been plunged into thick jelly.

"Disgraceful!" said a decidedly familiar voice. McGonagall was striding down the row between the tables, wand held out towards James, and obviously in a towering fury. "Absolutely _disgraceful_!"

"Hey, James," called Sirius. "I think that this stage of the plan may have failed."

* * * * *

Except that it hadn't really. That evening, as James was directed by Filch towards twenty or so cauldrons thick with salamander innards, Lily Evans sulkily shambled into the room. He blinked, staring perplexedly as Filch thrust a sponge into her hands and left with a promise that they would be very sorry if the cauldrons weren't spotless upon his return.

"What are you doing here?" James asked, ignoring this threat.

"Detention, same as you," she said, rolling her eyes. She plopped down in front of the cauldron furthest from the one James was working on and began scrubbing, eyes determinedly fixed on anything but James.

"What did _you_ do?"

Her face reddened slightly. "None of your business."

He gave an exasperated sigh. "Come on. Just tell me."

"No."

"Okay, then." Deliberately, James picked up his gut-soaked sponge and threw it at her. The moment it left his hand, he was horrified-- what was he thinking!? Lily, not watching him, didn't even realize he'd done it until it hit her in the forehead with a wet splat.

She let out a shriek of rage and before he could even get out an apology, she'd risen, strode across the room, pushed him over, sat on him, and shoved her own sponge into his face. He sputtered, squirming with a mixture of shock and disgust. Finally, she appeared to take mercy on him, and rose. He wiped the gunk from his mouth and glasses, rising to a sitting position and glaring up at her. She was standing over him, fists planted on hips in a decidedly triumphant way.

"That was disgusting!" he said, yet at the same time was surprised to realize he was laughing. In fact, the corners of Lily's mouth were twitching, too.

"Well, it served you right," she replied loftily.

"I suppose it did, at that," he said. He heaved a sigh. "It's just that you're so frustrating! You barely speak to me."

She studied him for a long moment, so long in fact that James began to shift nervously under the intensity of her gaze. Until he realized just how gorgeous she looked like that, those brilliant emerald eyes of hers narrowed fiercely, and he lost himself in gazing back at her.

Finally, she tore her gaze away from him and stalked back to her cauldron. "I got detention for yelling at Snape during Arithmancy," she said quietly. "I may not like you, but you did apologize, and I think he was being really awful acting that way back to you."

James blinked. "Oh."

They spent the rest of the detention in companionable silence.


	3. Hooogssmeeeade

**A/N:** Thanks again for all the reviews, guys, especially to Loraliant Angelina Snape, who actually went to the trouble of making up an acronym for HOT STUFF. XD Also, I'm sorry for the delay in between chapters; I blame the fact that my computer decided to eat my floppy disk.****

**Chapter Three**

_Hooogssmeeeade_

"Hosmeade, Hogsmeade, Hoooogsmeeeaaaade today!"

Sirius' voice crashed into James' skull. He tried stubbornly to fall back asleep, scrunching his eyes up and rolling over to smush his face into his pillow.

Peter and a laughing Remus joined in the 'song', if one were kind enough to term it as such. "Hoooogsmeeeaaade today!"

"Shut up!" James finally mumbled, his voice muffled from his pillow. When you had roommates like the other three, it was a lot harder to sleep in, he reflected bitterly. He felt the weight of someone plopping onto his mattress, and groaned. He lifted his head-- to see Sirius' face, alarmingly close, beaming beatifically at him.

"Hoooggssmeade today, Prongsy!"

"Wait, what's today?" he replied sourly. "I didn't quite catch that."

Sirius, gleefully ignoring the sarcasm in his friend's voice, trilled, "Hooogssmeeeeaade!"

"Yeah, yeah." James shoved him right off of his bed. He groped for his glasses, ignoring Sirius' indignant yelp, and put them on, stifling a yawn.

The other three were already dressed. Remus was leaning against his bedpost with his arms crossed, and Peter was gazing dreamily out of the window. Sirius was, James noted with vindictive pleasure, picking himself up off the floor, rubbing his posterior and grumbling under his breath.

"Up you get, James," Remus said cheerfully. "Just last week you were going on about how you needed to visit Zonko's."

"Zonko's..." Peter murmured happily. "And Honeydukes..." Unlike most of the students in seventh year, neither Peter nor Sirius had outgrown their excitement about Hogsmeade weekends. Nor had James, really-- he was just feeling much more subdued and grouchy than usual, for some reason. He yawned and sat up in bed, running his hand absently through his hair.

Sirius had relocated to his own bed and was watching James curiously. "What's up with you lately, Prongs? Usually you'd be singing right along with the rest of us."

"It's nothing," he mumbled.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other. "It's Lily," they announced together.

"Wormtail, do me a favour and whack them both with pillows, would you? Only my aim has been off lately."

"Don't you dare!" Sirius shouted threateningly. "I only just got my hair the way I like it."

James observed Sirius critically. "It looks exactly the same as always. Messy."

"Yes, but _artfully_ messy," he explained patiently. "A distinction that you've never been able to grasp, judging by your unfortunate hairstyle."

James raised a hand to his head defensively. "My hair is not unfortunate!"

"Well, it's definitely not fortunate."

James gave a despairing groan and threw his covers back over his head. "Forget it," he announced. "I'm not going. I'm not in the mood, and Lily will be there and she's probably been laughing at my unfortunate hair for years and I never knew it! And the Slytherins will be laughing at me as usual and making barking noises and you know what? I'm never coming out from under here again."

"You can't stay under there forever," said Remus patiently.

"Why not? Okay, I'll have to leave once in awhile to go to the loo, but other than that I don't see the problem. You three can bring me food and I'll be your deranged, anti-social friend who refuses to leave his bed. It would work splendidly."

"Don't be silly," Sirius' voice said briskly. James winced as his blankets were pulled off and Sirius again sat on his bed-- carefully at the foot of it this time, though, obviously keen to avoid being pushed off again. "What happened to not caring about what the Slytherins thought? And Lily has not been laughing at your hair for years." He studied James for a moment. "You know, I make fun, but your hair works for you. You're really rather attractive."

"Okay, we're getting into weird territory here, Padfoot," said James fervently. "I'll go if you promise to never say anything like that ever again."

"Deal," Sirius replied cheerily.

By the time the three of them had arrived in Hogsmeade along with the other students, Sirius was complimenting Remus on his 'delicate bone structure' and Peter on his 'lovely smile' which 'lit up his face.' This was interrupted by a group of approaching Slytherins, and James found himself with the odd feeling of being quite grateful to them.

"Hey, Potter," shouted one of them, a bony girl whose name James had never bothered to learn. "Thought we'd let you know-- Evans is in Madam Puddifoot's." She paused dramatically, then added with relish, "With Lockhart."

"What?" he yelped. His stomach dropped to his knees. It was quite well-known that Madam Puddifoot's was strictly for dates. "There's no way. No way would she go out with that little twit."

She shrugged smugly. "Believe it or don't, it's all the same to me." And, smirking in a maddening way, the Slytherins moved off past them, several of them bumping the Gryffindors roughly with their shoulders. James barely noticed that he was being buffeted back and forth.

There really was no way that she could be on a date with Lockhart. Lockhart was a year younger than them and notorious throughout the school for his cheerful arrogance, which was matched only by his complete incompetence. He had started several fires in his time at Hogwarts, and even once managed to turn himself into a fish. He had flopped helplessly for a bit, until one of his fellow Ravenclaws had had the good sense to grab him and toss him into a toilet. A few of the younger girls actually fell for his dubious charms, but there was no way that Lily could have. She was just too smart for that.

"No way," he said aloud, and began to stalk down the street-- but was somewhat impeded when his friends grabbed him by the arms.

"Whoa, James. What do you think you're doing?" Remus asked.

"I'm going to see if it's true, obviously," he growled.

"James, don't!" said Peter worriedly. "She's just going to be mad..."

He shook himself free of their hands and turned to glare at each of them in turn. "I won't cause a scene like last time, okay?"

"I think we should let him go," said Sirius. "Because, I mean, _Lockhart_? Is she mad?"

He nodded firmly. "Exactly. I'm going." And with that, he began his march towards Madam Puddifoot's. After a moment, he glanced over his shoulder. The other three were following a few meters behind him. Remus offered a sheepish smile.

"What?" said Sirius, who looked utterly unabashed. "I'm your Official Romantic Advisor! I have to be there!"

"She's probably not even going to be there," said Peter thoughtfully. "Betcha anything the Slytherins made that up..."

Remus suddenly blinked, staring at something over James' shoulder. "No, I don't think she will be there."

James whirled around and stared. Lily was meandering down the street, hand in hand with none other than Gilderoy Lockhart, the sun glinting off his impossibly golden hair. They paused outside of Dervish and Banges and spoke for a moment before separating, Lockhart heading into the store. Lily waved, then turned-- and jumped upon noticing the four boys watching.

James stalked over to her, rudely elbowing anyone who got in his way. "Are you going _out_ with him?" he demanded immediately.

She gazed at him coolly. "And what if I am?"

He stared at her, rather disgusted. "_Lockhart_, Evans? Of all the people who you could have, you pick him?"

Lily frowned; She was turning rather red in the face. "Well, what's wrong with him? He's good-looking, and nice enough-- which is more than I can say for you!"

"I _am_ nice!" he yelled, throwing up his hands in exasperation. A few people on the street glanced at him, but ignored this. "Look, Evans, I'm not the same person I used to be. Sure, I _was_ a jerk, but you're being worse than that-- you're being so close-minded! You don't even notice that I'm different, because you don't want to. You don't want to see that I've changed, you don't want to admit that maybe you're wrong. You're just as arrogant as I am. Maybe more."

Her mouth dropped open. She looked as if she had just been slapped. Fleetingly, James felt regret; He'd certainly never have a chance with her now. And sure enough, without another word, she whipped around and stalked into Dervish and Banges, ignoring him completely.

*****

Half an hour later, James could be found slumping at a table in the Three Broomsticks, his head on its wooden surface, gazing dully at his near-full tankard of Butterbeer. Remus, Peter, and Sirius had given up on murmuring comforting things, as they obviously had no effect on his mood, and had taken to simply staring helplessly at him.

"She hates me," he mumbled.

"I'm sure she doesn't _hate_ you..." Remus said gently.

Sirius sighed. "I've failed," he admitted glumly, "as your Advisor."

"Wasn't your fault," James said. "I'm the one who went up and yelled at her like that. I'm sure you would've stopped me if you realized what I was going to do."

"Well, probably. It was pretty stupid."

Peter punched Sirius lightly on the arm. "It wasn't stupid, it was just... not smart." James gave a mirthless laugh.

"Hey-- Potter--" a sudden, decidedly familiar voice said. James blinked and raised his head. Lily had entered the pub and was weaving through the crowd towards him, and she looked angry, or perhaps determined. James stared-- why on earth was she approaching him? Maybe to yell at him. Probably to yell at him, in fact.

She reached their table and glanced at Sirius, Remus and Peter edgily, as if rather wishing they weren't there. Nevertheless, she took a deep breath and turned back to James, green eyes narrowed, and flipped her hair back over her shoulder. "I just wanted to tell you that I broke up with Gilderoy."

James blinked. "Oh...?" he said feebly.

"Yes." She gazed at him critically for a moment longer, and James felt himself fidgeting under her eyes. Finally, she took another deep breath with the air of someone steeling themselves to do something horribly difficult, and said, "And I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime."

Peter sprayed Butterbeer all over James. Who barely noticed.

"Fnegle," he said intelligently. "I-- I mean... What?"

Lily glanced at the others. Peter was hurriedly mopping up the mess and blushing. Remus was watching with a small, knowing little smirk. Sirius looked utterly flabbergasted.

"You heard me," Lily finally muttered, turning her gaze to studiously examine the tabletop. "So? Do you want to?"

"I... Yes?" he said weakly.

"Okay," she said. "Um... I guess we can decide on a day and everything when we get back to school." She paused. "Bye." And with that, she turned and slowly left, exiting the pub. James stared at the door long after she had gone.

Sirius suddenly raised his fist into the air. "And thus my failure becomes a triumph!"

"But how...?" James said. "I mean, why? I mean... I'm not entirely sure what I mean, actually, because my brain has become quite suddenly strange. You see, I could swear that Lily Evans just walked in here and asked me out after I told her off."

"She _did_!" Peter said excitedly.

"Looks like you actually succeeded in getting her to open up her mind," Remus murmured with a smile.

James looked at him. "I have a date with Lily Evans."

"Yes," he agreed.

"A date. With Lily Evans," he repeated wonderingly. "She doesn't hate me. She wants to go _out_ with me. On a date. James Potter and Lily Evans. Going out."

Peter and Remus laughed slightly. Sirius gave a wicked grin. "I think this calls for a celebration tonight, don't you?"

*****

The night was lost to James in a blur of Butterbeer, music, pranks, and an overall feeling of supreme bliss. The best part, though, was definitely when he caught Lily's eye from across the common room and smiled at her-- and she smiled back. It seemed a little weak, but it was better than nothing.

He made his way over to her, carefully avoiding his cavorting house mates (Sirius had actually convinced Remus to stand up on a couch and perform a sappy love song with him, much to the general amusement of everyone else). "Hi," he said.

"Hi," she replied quietly.

"So... You really meant it, then? You want to go out with me?" He settled carefully into the armchair next to hers.

She nodded. "I really did. I mean..." She gave a frustrated sigh. "You were right, much as I hate to admit it. I... I figured I should give you a chance, at least."

"Oh." He pondered this for a moment. She didn't seem overly enthused at the prospect of going out with him, but it was definitely progress, so his thrilled mood wasn't dampened much. "Well, I-- I was thinking we could go for a walk around the lake. After hours-- adds an element of danger, which is always romantic." He waggled his eyebrows, and her mouth twitched.

"All right, then. How about tomorrow night, about ten o'clock?"

He nodded, trying not to appear _too_ victorious. "Sounds good. I'll meet you at the lake then."

He strode off, feeling practically buoyant with elation. "Got me a date tomorrow night," he announced to Peter, sliding into the chair next to his.

Peter blinked. "Tomorrow night?"

James nodded, grinning in a way that he was sure looked as satisfied as he felt. "Yeah. Ten o'clock, we're going to sneak out and take a walk around the lake. Nighttime, moonlight, a lake... what could be more romantic?"

"But James," Peter said. "Tomorrow's the full moon."

James blinked, then slowly turned to watch Sirius and Remus, who had their hands clasped together as they reached the supposed moving climax of their song.

"Oh," he said blankly. "Damn."


	4. Full Moon

**Chapter Four**  
  
_Full Moon_  
  
A piece of parchment slid onto James' desk. Blinking, he glanced around furtively-- as it was Professor Binns's class, most everyone was in a near-comatose state and didn't pay him any mind-- before opening it. Written on it in Remus's handwriting was a single word: _Go_.  
  
James dipped his quill in the ink pot and scrawled his reply (_No_) before passing it to Sirius, who passed it to Peter, who passed it to Remus, whose mouth tightened as he glanced at it. His slender hand tightened determinedly on his quill.  
  
When the parchment reached the end of the line again, this time it said:  
  
_James, I survived for years without any of you three. And besides, I'm sure Wormtail and Padfoot will be able to control me without you. You're the biggest, but Padfoot is fairly large, himself. There's nothing to worry about. Go on your date._  
  
"That's not the point!"  
  
Every person in the room gave a collective start, including Binns's spectral form. "But it is," the professor insisted after a moment of everyone staring at James. "You see, the fact that the legislation was drawn in the summer of 1912 resulted in the very consequences of which I have been speaking. The giants..."  
  
James stopped listening, glowering at Remus, who looked back at him flatly, immoveably. Bending back over the parchment, James wrote:  
  
_The point, Moony, is that I'm here for my friends. We've been together in this ever since fifth year and it's not going to change now, just because I made a date for the wrong day. I can ask Lily to change it to tomorrow, and no harm done. Besides,_  
  
James hesitated, gnawing on his quill, unsure of how to phrase the next bit without sounding like a ponce.  
  
_Besides, you mean as much to me as Lily does. I'm sticking with you through every full moon, okay? I'm not going to turn away from a friend for a girl_.  
  
James sent it on down, and by the time it returned to him, it had two replies.  
  
_Fine. Okay, James, if you're really sure about this. I just feel bad for making you miss out because of me. But if that's really what you want, well, I'm grateful that our friendship is that strong. It really means a lot to me._  
  
The second reply said simply, _You big girls_.

The class ended as James thwacked Sirius over the head with his textbook and Remus watched with quietly vindictive glee.

-----

"So why is it again that girls travel only in packs?" James asked, peering around a bookshelf to see Lily seated at a table with about five other girls, doing their homework and speaking quietly amongst themselves.  
  
"It's a mystery of the animal kingdom," Sirius said solemnly from behind him. "Did you know they even go to the bathroom together? And none of them can tell you why, either. I asked Annette Richards once, and she looked at me like I was asking why water was wet, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. But I don't think she really knew, either."  
  
"Oh, there goes Peter," James said suddenly, watching as the aforementioned Peter shambled out from behind a shelf. He stared at the girls with obvious nervousness, licking his lips, then abruptly buckled as if his knees had given way, collapsing dramatically on the library floor with a strange yelp. It was supposed to be a groan of pain, but James thought it would do.  
  
Sure enough, with concerned noises the girls all stood up and went over to see if he was all right. Before Lily could, though, James reached out and snagged her sleeve, tugging her behind the shelf with him as Sirius and Remus quietly slipped away. "Oh, m-my tendons! I think I injured them!" he heard Peter exclaim lamely.  
  
"J--Potter? What--?" Lily blinked up at him then half-turned back towards Peter before rolling her eyes. "Oh, wait-- is that part of another stupid scheme you four are always pulling off? Well, what is it this time?"  
  
"Er," said James.  
  
"Eloquent, aren't you?" Lily snapped, then appeared to realize how waspish she was being; Taking a deep breath, her expression was forced back to some semblance of calm. "Sorry."  
  
"It's all right," James said, feeling rather encouraged by the fact that she was making as effort not to be so mean to him. "It's just-- I needed to get you alone to tell you that... well, about tonight. I kind of have... a previous engagement."  
  
"A what?" Lily's eyebrows rose halfway to her hairline. "Wait, are you saying you have a _date with someone else?"_  
  
"No! No." James rose his hands defensively. "It's not a date. Trust me, you're the only girl I want to date. You have been for a long time, actually.  
  
The affronted look faded from Lily's face and turned into something unreadable. "Oh," she replied quietly. "Well, what is it, then?"  
  
James shuffled his feet back and forth. "Just something I forgot that I had promised to do," he finally muttered evasively, wishing he'd had the foresight to think of an excuse ahead of time. "So anyway, would it be okay if we changed the date to tomorrow night, instead?"  
  
"I guess so," Lily said slowly. Her expression now held a hint of suspicion, and James felt a flutter of nervousness in his stomach. She seemed as though she... suspected something.  
  
Before she could ask any more questions, he shot her a smile and said, "Well, see you later, then!" He darted off, past the place where Sirius was pretending to help Peter to his feet (Remus, so close to the full moon, looked as though the weight of a tissue would be enough to snap him in two, so he wasn't helping), and out of the library, relief battling unease in his stomach.

-----

"Wonder if Moony's doing all right?" Peter asked, as he, James and Sirius approached the Whomping Willow.  
  
"He's fine as he ever is at this time, I'm sure," Sirius answered. "Waiting for us at the Shack, unhappy and weak but brightened by the thought of his wonderful friends coming to help him through his difficult transformation." He grinned toothily.  
  
"Sure you still want to come, Prongs?" Peter asked.  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius. "You could still change your mind, you know. Lily Evaaaannnss..." he added as if tempting him with a delicious treat.  
  
"I told you, I'm coming." James gave them a level look. "Seriously, this is something we've been doing since fifth year, and it's for Remus's sake. Besides, Lily agreed to go out tomorrow, instead, so everything worked out fine, didn't it?"  
  
"Guess so. Hey, what excuse did you give her, anyway?"  
  
"Nothing, really. I just said I had a previous engagement." They slowed to a halt as they reached the tree, which had already begun to flail its limbs threateningly.  
  
"A previous engagement?" Sirius snorted.  
  
"Well, what was I supposed to tell her? 'Sorry I can't come tonight, Evans, but I totally forgot that one of my best friends is a werewolf and tonight's the full moon so we all have to head down in our illegal Animagus forms to keep him under control.'" He rolled his eyes as Peter transformed, rapidly shrinking down into his rat form, so he could touch the knot on the trunk.  
  
And a strangled gasp came from behind them.  
  
All three of them spun round, including Wormtail, to stare at Lily Evans, who was stepping out uncertainly from behind a tree, looking stunned.  
  
Simultaneously, James and Sirius said, "Bugger." Peter gave a squeak that also sufficed as a fervent swear word.  
  
"You," she said, staring wildly from one to another. "You... that..."  
  
"That," Sirius announced loudly, "was a _joke_. Because we _knew_ you were following us, so we said that to shock you! And it, it worked. So. Ha ha! Good on us."  
  
Lily simply stared at Peter and James sighed. She wasn't going to buy it.  
  
"Peter Pettigrew," she said as if determined to prove him correct, "just transformed into a rat in front of my eyes. And... and that's where Remus goes so regularly, isn't it? Everyone's noticed, that every month he starts to look even worse and more ill than usual, and he disappears for a few days, and... and it's because he's a werewolf. A--a bleeding _werewolf!"_  
  
Sirius and James exchanged stricken glances. "No. Joke. That was," Sirius attempted in a small voice.  
  
James took a step towards Lily, his hand outstretched. She flinched away as if suspecting _him_ of being a Dark Creature that wanted nothing better than to make a snack of her flesh. "Look, Lily, let me explain," he said, letting his hand drop.  
  
"We don't have time," Sirius said, dropping the act and glancing upward. The orange-red of the sunset was already beginning to fade into a dusky purple. "Prongs, we've got to get there. He's going to change soon."  
  
James hesitated. "You two go ahead. I'll stay behind and explain." He had no choice in the matter, really. Lily looked as if she might any minute flee for her life, or perhaps to warn the entire school that one of the students was a vicious monster.  
  
"All right," Sirius muttered after a moment. Peter scampered toward the trunk of the Willow, easily evading any branches that swung his way, and touched the knot, freezing the tree's limbs in place. Sirius glanced at Lily, shrugged, muttered something under his breath, and transformed into his own Animagus form. With that, both rat and dog slipped into the tunnel leading to the Shack.  
  
Leaving James with the responsibility of calming Lily down and explaining everything to her. He'd rather face the werewolf, himself.  
  
"What's going on?" she demanded finally. "You're illegal Animagi!? You... sneak out to control your werewolf friend?"  
  
"Remus _is_ our friend," he snapped. "And the fact that he's a werewolf doesn't change that a damn bit. He's a werewolf one night a month, but a living, breathing, feeling human the rest of the time."  
  
"Don't be an idiot," she shot back. "I'm not saying you should stop being friends with him because he's a werewolf, and I'm perfectly aware of the fact that he's a living person. I happen to think that the way wizarding society treats werewolves is abominable, for your information, and if I feel anything new towards Remus, it's pity."  
  
That took the wind out of James' sails quite well. He stared at her, admiration stirring inside of him as he realized he'd found a new reason to like Lily in _that_ way. "Oh."  
  
"I'm just... surprised, is all," she muttered, sinking back to lean against the tree she'd emerged from behind. "Well, shocked would be a better word for it. I followed you thinking I'd see your four up to some silly prank designed to land yourselves in detention, not something so serious."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Nosy of you, by the way," he added, quirking an eyebrow.  
  
She reddened, but stared back at him defiantly. "Well, you're one to talk."  
  
"Oh, it was a compliment, I assure you." He offered a slight grin, and after a moment she returned it.  
  
"So what sort of animal are you, then?"  
  
James blinked. He hadn't expected that question. "A stag," he replied cautiously.  
  
"Really?" She tilted her head, gazing at him, and he shifted slightly under her scrutiny. She suddenly looked uncharacteristically hesitant. "Can I... see?"  
  
"I guess so." James shrugged and willed himself to turn-- that was all it took anymore, after so much practice at it-- and felt the very fabric of what made him himself shift and change, writhe and separate and reform differently, the sensation now familiar rather than odd. A split second later and he stood on four slender legs, gazing down at Lily; The part of him that was James was now muted, still there, but not as prominent. Instead, he was Prongs, proud, majestic and calm.  
  
Lily stared at him as if she'd never seen an Animagus transformation before, though she'd just seen Sirius and Peter and before that Professor McGonagall. This girl was unfamiliar to Prongs, but James's feelings for her were still there somewhere, and he didn't like her looking at him as though afraid. So he took a step towards her and lowered his head, nudging her shoulder gently with his nose.  
  
She gace a start, but then tentatively lifted her hand to stroke his broad shoulder. "This is... unbelievable," she said in a great rush of breath.  
  
Seized by a sudden mischievous impulse, James took back over and Prongs retreated as he transformed back into his human self, short fur and antlers retracting. In a heartbeat, James stood there, Lily's hand still resting on his shoulder, and he smiled suggestively.  
  
Lily pulled her hand back as if burned and scowled at him. "Idiot," she mumbled, but it sounded more absent-minded than angry.  
  
"What did you think?" he asked, feeling suddenly nervous, as if her opinion of his Animagus form was something deadly important.  
  
Lily gazed at him for a long moment, then simply said, "You-- I mean-- The stag-you-- are... beautiful." She finished barely above a whisper.  
  
James felt a surge of something-- not the absurd pride and self-satisfaction he expected, but something deeper, and profoundly more disturbing. He swallowed. "Thanks." Feeling the need to lighten the mood (not that this was an entirely bad atmosphere right now, but certainly unfamiliar, and being casual was what he was most comfortable with), he said, "So that's obviously where our nicknames come from, if you haven't realized yet. Prongs the stag, Moony the werewolf, Padfoot the dog, and Wormtail the rat."  
  
"Oh, of course." Lily looked rather dazed, and James couldn't blame her. It had to be an awful lot of information to take in, after all.  
  
"Hey, want to go for a ride?" he asked impulsively.  
  
"A... ride?"  
  
"Yeah. A ride on Prongs, round the lake." He wasn't sure what made him suggest it. Maybe it was that she seemed to like his other form, and Lily actually liking something about him was a novel and wonderful concept.  
  
"I... I suppose so." She bit her lip, looking unsure.  
  
"Don't worry. I won't let you fall or anything." He smiled at her, and she actually looked reassured.

-----

That night, Prongs cantered along the water's edge with the girl who inspired such complex feelings in James, the play of moonlight and shadow making them appear to flit in and out of existence like ghosts, and it was the most beautiful experience James had had.  
  
He rather suspected that Lily felt the same. 


	5. Love is Not in the Air

**Chapter Five**  
_Love is (Not) in the Air_

"Your socks don't match, you know."

"Is that right?" James murmured distractedly, attempting to eat his soup with a fork.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter shared a look.

"One's white and the other's green," Sirius informed him.

"I see."

"Almost Slytherin colours, y'know," he added.

"Hey, yeah, you're right. I hadn't noticed."

Another quick exchange of looks. 

"James, are you... feeling okay?" Peter tilted his head, eyes darting to James inquisitively in a manner reminiscent of his Animagus form.

"Couldn't be better," he answered with an airy laugh, realizing what he'd been doing and swapping the fork for a spoon. He began to hum 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' softly, stirring his soup.

"He's been like this all day," Sirius told Remus, who'd spent the better part of the day cooped up in the hospital wing. Remus still looked quite tired, but he'd insisted he'd rather come out for dinner than continue resting.

"Has he?" Remus examined James closely. James smiled brightly at him.

"Yep. It was funny at first-- Wormtail and I lobbed spitballs at the back of his head all through Potions and he didn't even get mad-- but I have to say, it's getting a bit worrying."

"I see what you mean," Remus said slowly. "James, did someone hit you with an extra-strong Cheering Charm or something?"

"Nope." James slurped some of his soup before setting down his spoon and fixing the other three with a grim stare. They all looked taken aback at his sudden change in manner. "My friends, my cheerfulness is not the result of magic. Well-- that's not entirely true, really."

Remus raised an eyebrow, and Sirius and Peter both leaned towards him expectantly.

"I am cheerful today thanks to..." He paused dramatically. "The _magic_ of _love_."

Peter looked properly impressed, but Remus rolled his eyes, smiling slightly, and Sirius groaned.

"_The magic of love_, Prongs?" he repeated. "Okay, now I'm sort of regretting becoming your Advisor. So far, it's done nothing but turn you into a soppy idiot. We haven't done a proper prank in ages."

James supposed this was rather true. Aside from the 'soppy idiot' bit. "Well, let's do one, then." Still in an exuberant mood, he added, "And something really huge, something we've never done before."

"I guess that means sticking a 'Curse Me' sign on Snape's back is out of the question, then," Remus said with a faint smirk.

Sirius shot him an indignant look. "Hey, are you making fun of the good ol' sign-on-Snivellus's-back standby?"

"Not at all."

"We have been doing it since first year," Peter pointed out.

"It's a classic!" Sirius announced, valiantly defending the honour of the sign prank.

"Yes, it's a perfectly good prank," James broke in. "But we need something_ bigger_, you know?"

"Like what?" Peter said.

"I don't know... Let's think about it tonight, and I'm sure we'll come up with something really excellent."

-

This turned out to be easier said than done. James was full to the brim with energy that he quite desperately wanted to let loose-- and what better way than a prank to shock and amuse the entire school?-- but he was finding it extremely difficult to come up with something they hadn't already done.

He stalked the corridors that evening, on his own, for once; the other three were doing an assignment in the library that he'd already completed.

He did know, at least, that he wanted the joke to be at Snape's expense. James still hadn't forgotten the way he'd been such a prat about the apology.

"You were with Potter, then?"

James stopped short instead of rounding the next corner, ears perking up. Unless he was very much mistaken, that was the voice of Sophie Cummings, one of the girls that shared Lily's dormitory.

Lily's voice answered reluctantly. "Yes."

"I thought that he backed out of the date, though?"

"Well, he did, but... then we had it anyway. It's-- kind of a long story."

"So?"

"So what?"

"How was it?"

James flattened himself carefully against the wall. He definitely wanted to hear this.

"Erm, well, it was... different."

"Different?"

"Mm-hm. It wasn't like any date I've ever been on before, that's for sure... But, you know, it was kind of... nice."

James couldn't quite strangle the sound of victory that clawed its way from his throat.

"What--?" Next moment, both Lily and Sophie had come around the corner. Lily reddened slightly when she saw him.

Taking this as a good sign, he un-flattened himself from the wall as if it was perfectly natural for him to have been pressed up against it, and gave the girls his very best roguish grin. "Ladies."

"Oh, stop trying to act all charming," Lily mumbled, staring intently at a spot over his left shoulder.

"So... it was nice, huh?" he asked her.

"Nice, in an incredibly weird and 'is-this-really-a-date?' way," she said defiantly.

"What did you two do, anyway?" Sophie asked.

James glanced at her. "Oh, you know. Moonlit canter 'round the lake."

"Canter?" Sophie repeated, looking bewildered, as James slid an arm around Lily's shoulders and began to lead her away.

"I'm going to steal her for a few minutes, all right?" he said.

"You aren't going to _steal_ me, you big git," Lily said, pushing him away and scowling at him. "You know, that's your problem exactly. Maybe if you actually asked and treated me like a human being, I would like you more."

James blinked. She had a point. Clearing his throat, he swept her a flourishing bow. "O Lily, fairest of fair, this lowly peasant requests a few words with you."

He straightened from his bow to see Lily giving him a flat stare. "Oh, yes, mocking me is going to get you back into my good graces," she said sarcastically.

"I wasn't mocking you! Honestly, Lily, you're so touchy all the time."

"I am not _touchy_," she said touchily.

"You're a bit touchy," Sophie put in.

"Shut _up_, Sophie."

"See?" James said. "Well, fine, whatever, since apparently you're not going to deign to speak civilly with me, I'll just be off then."

Lily made a strangled noise. "Well-- fine, then. Shove off already, will you?"

"Gladly." He spun and stalked away, wondering vaguely how Lily managed to play such havoc with his emotions. One minute sky-rocketing, the next plummeting.

"Nice socks, Potter," Hugh Fletcher of Ravenclaw called.

"Shut up," he snarled, marching past and scattering a group of Hufflepuffs like nervous sparrows. His hand twitched, itching to reach for his wand and curse the pants off of someone. Preferably Snivellus, though of course, he'd already done that back in fifth year.

Actually, that didn't sound like an entirely bad idea right about now. Lily was still holding a grudge from that time, if Remus could be believed (which he could, of course). What better way to say, 'Forget it, I don't need you, Evans, and I'm not changing myself for you anymore' than to repeat the incident?

And he was done with her. He nodded, savagely pleased with this decision.

Suddenly, Sirius stepped out directly into James' path, folding his arms. James, in a decidedly stubborn mood, kept walking straight towards him. "Hell if I'm going to be the one to move," he muttered under his breath, trying to stare Sirius down.

Sirius was looking uncharacteristically grim himself, and didn't look as though he was planning on backing down anytime soon. There was time for James to feel a flash of uncertainty-- he was going to move out of the way, wasn't he?-- before they collided and Sirius fell backwards onto the floor. There was a round of startled and concerned noises from the bystanders.

"Why didn't you move?" James burst out after regaining his balance.

"Because you were on a rampage-warpath thing and that was the only way I could see to stop you," Sirius answered cheerily, rising and rubbing his apparently sore bottom. "Ouch, by the way. For a skinny little seeker, you've got a lot of power on your side."

"Sorry," James mumbled grudgingly.

"So, what's got you so angry? Nancy Johnson, that Hufflepuff third-year, just scurried into the library at a zillion kilometers an hour and said that you looked like you were about to trample anyone who got in your way." He paused, hand straying back his posterior. "And what do you know. I wonder if she's got Seer blood in her."

James shrugged, feeling his blood heat again at the reminder of Lily. "It's Evans. She's so-- so-- difficult!"

"She's a girl," Sirius said. "That translates as the same thing."

James made a face as they started back towards the library. "Yeah, well, she's the worst of the lot. I've decided that I'm through with her, Padfoot. I mean it."

Sirius snorted.

"I do! I'm completely serious."

James half expected him to break out the old 'serious/Sirius' joke, but instead, his friend rolled his eyes heavenward as if asking for divine help. "Right. Just like you were completely serious three months ago, when you announced you were giving up on her, and last year, and a couple times the year before that..."

"Hey, I mean it this time!" He tried to moderate his tone as they entered the library. "It doesn't matter what I do, how kind and sweet and wonderful I am. She'll find a way to twist it around. There's no pleasing her."

"What happened?" Peter asked as they plopped down at the table he and Remus were sitting at.

"James was on a rampath."

Peter gave Sirius a bewildered look, but Remus just stared at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Rampage-slash-warpath?" he asked.

"Exactly. No one knows the complex workings of my mind like you, Moony," Sirius said, giving him a grin.

Remus smiled dryly. "A fact which frightens me to the very depths of my soul."

"So, what was the rampath about?" Peter asked, as if it were now a legitimate word.

"Three guesses," Sirius said. "And I'll even give you a hint: it starts with 'L' and ends with "I-L-Y."

"Oh, forget her for a day, will you?" Peter pleaded.

"I'm forgetting her for more than a day. I've decided that I'm not going to bother with her anymore. There are lots of great girls I'm surrounded by at this school and I think it's time I give them a sporting chance."

"You know, I think Lily may have a point with that 'big-headed' nonsense," Remus murmured with a smile.

"I'm not big-headed! I'll wager there are lots of girls who would want to go out with me."

"He's right, you know," Sirius said. "Girls go for his sort. Smart, athletic, not too shabby in the looks department-- aside from that hair, of course, which could never approach my casual-in-disarray style, and those spectacles, which mar his looks considerably, and have you ever noticed that his knees are sort of knobby? And he is a bit on the spindly side--"

"Well, if I had a big head before now," James interrupted, "I thank you, Sirius, for shrinking it down to size."

"No problem."

"Anyway, about this prank," Peter said. "I reckon we should do it on Snape."

"Second," said James.

"Third!" Sirius said.

"Always Snape," Remus said, staring at them cryptically. "All right, then. What will it be this time?"

"No idea," said Sirius, and Peter shrugged (as expected-- he rarely came up with prank ideas, though when he did, they were surprisingly sneaky and clever).

"What if," James said slowly as an idea coalesced in his mind, "we went for full-out humiliation?"

"I think the fifth-year prank accomplished that fairly well," Remus said with an eyebrow raise.

"Well, yes, I'll give you that. But really, it's impossible to humiliate Snivellus too much, right?"

"What do you have in mind?" Sirius asked, looking excited.

"All right, here's what we do. We send him a love letter."

There was a pause. "Er," Peter began tentatively, "Now, I realize that you're angry at Lily and everything, but I think you can do a bit better than Sn--"

"Don't be an idiot," James laughed. "No, listen. We send him a love letter from some anonymous girl asking him to meet her in the Entrance Hall after-hours. We, of course, are there waiting for him, and when he comes we-- we, um--"

"Capture him," Sirius said, getting caught up in it. "We tie him up, mock him for ever thinking that any female ever would actually see him as anything other than a greasy little cretin, do horrible things to him, like-- like turn him pink and dotted with hearts, and then leave him there to be discovered the next morning!"

Peter hooted appreciatively, earning himself a glare from Madam Pince. He shrunk slightly against the librarian's wrath, but his grin didn't fade. "That's so great. We have to do that."

"Moony, you've got to be the one to write the letter," James said.

"Why? Are you implying I sound like a love-struck girl?"

"No, but you've got the girliest handwriting. And you're just more... articulate than the rest of us. We'll help, though."

"I'll ignore that first remark, and I suppose I'll write the letter. If I left it to you three, I imagine it'd come out sounding all overly-flowery or passive-aggressive and it wouldn't fool Snape, anyway."

"Exactly. We're so lucky to have a Moony, aren't we?" Sirius remarked to Peter.

"Very."

"I'm honoured," said Remus as he broke out his quill.

- '...So please meet me in the Entrance Hall at midnight tonight. I'll be eagerly waiting--'

"He can't fall for this. Even Snape wouldn't believe a girl would be 'eagerly waiting' for him," James said.

Sirius shook his head. "What about a Slytherin girl? You know that repulsive one who's just as greasy and twitchy as him? Really, they'd be a match made in heaven."

"Yeah, but even ugly people want beautiful ones," Peter said. "In fact, I reckon Snape has a bit of a crush on Evans."

Sirius and James shared a look of extreme horror and disgust before turning to Peter. "_What_ are you _talking_ about, Wormtail?" James said.

Peter shrugged sheepishly. "I don't know. Just a hunch. I'm probably wrong."

"You'd better be!" James exclaimed. "That's disgusting. Poor Lily." 

"'Poor Lily?'" Remus repeated. "So, have you decided to retract your announcement that you're giving up on her?"

"Not at all," James answered staunchly. "I'd feel sorry for _anyone_ if Snivellus fancied them."

"Anyway, I think this is about as good as we're going to get with the letter," Remus said, glancing down to scan it again. "How are we going to get it to him?"

"I thought we could send it to him in the same way they send memos around in the Ministry," James said, taking the parchment. "Here-- _Avolaris Snape_." The parchment folded itself into what Remus said was called a paper aeroplane by Muggles, then zoomed off through the corridors to Snape.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged the slightly nervous, very excited grins they tended to have after setting a prank in motion.

"Here we go," said Sirius.

-

After dinner that evening, James and his friends sauntered through the corridors with the pride of those who knew they were liked, who knew they, in essence, owned the school. The anticipation of that night was enough to restore James' good mood, and he grinned and waved at as many pretty girls as possible while they walked-- no harm in letting them know he was available, after all.

"Yes, I must admit I'm no stranger to such advances--"

Gilderoy Lockhart's unpleasantly smarmy voice drifted from the top of the stairs as they climbed them.

"Do you know who it is?" someone else asked.

"Oh, well, I have a fair few guesses, but it's impossible to say, really. I've noticed more than a few ladies giving me the sort of look that lets me know they-- well, all right if I must say it, I must say it-- that they _yearn_ for me."

James froze on the stairwell. "Wait a minute."

"Lily Evans and I went on that one date, and she pretended that she wasn't really interested in me anymore, but I suspect she's being furtive, playing hard-to-get. I'd not be surprised if the letter was from her."

James barreled up the staircase with the other three hot on his heels. "Lockhart!" he gasped, skidding to a halt in front of the startled-looking boy. "You got a letter from a girl?"

Lockhart recovered himself immediately, that hateful grin reappearing on his face in a twinkling. "That I did, James, that I did. Unsigned. She's asked me to meet her tonight in the Entrance Hall."

Sirius let loose with a string of impressive curses.

"Now now, Sirius, I'll be sure to leave enough Hogwarts girls for you fine lads--"

"Shut up, you moron," James said through gritted teeth. "How did you get that letter?"

Lockhart blinked. "Why, I was just on my way to Charms when it sailed out of nowhere and smacked me dead between the eyes-- that smarted, I don't mind telling you!-- and it fell to the floor, fluttering feebly."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, and James groaned. "That letter wasn't for you, it was for Snape."

"Severus?" Lockhart's eyebrows rose with amusement. "I rather doubt that. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go get ready for my _rendezvous_." He turned, but Sirius reached out and snagged the back of his robes.

"_We_ wrote that letter," James told him. "As a joke, on Snivellus. It seems your stupid forehead just happened to intercept it."

Lockhart glanced over his shoulder at them, then gave a forced-sounding laugh. "Now, now, gentlemen, I don't blame you for being jealous, but I really must ask you to stop this. I'm going to meet my lady-suitor tonight, and you can't stop me." His tone become quite firm at the end and he jerked out of Sirius's grasp, heading away.

"That idiot," Sirius said calmly.

"Shall we just scrap the prank?" Peter said, chewing his lower lip. "Let him go and meet no one?"

"Would serve him right, thinking he's got stood up."

"He didn't do anything wrong," Remus protested reluctantly. "He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I'm going to go with him," James said suddenly. The others glanced at him. "Maybe when no one shows up, he'll believe we were telling the truth."

"Why are you going to go with him?" Sirius asked.

"Because, contrary to what certain redheads who are made decidedly less attractive by their constant tempers think, I am a wonderfully decent human being who will lend a hand to even empty-headed weirdos like him. I won't let him go there and think he's been stood up and be all lonely and whatnot."

"If you're sure," said Remus doubtfully.

"I am. Because that's the kind of person I am."

-

"Wait up, Lockhart," James hissed, jogging down the corridor.

Lockhart nearly jumped out of his skin. "Who's there!?" he asked in a sort of high-pitched whisper. "I demand that you show yourself at once!"

James refrained from rolling his eyes and pulled off his Invisibility Cloak. "It's me. Look, you really shouldn't be out here. I swear to you, that letter was a prank we were planning to pull on Snape."

"Still with that same old refrain, eh, James?" said Lockhart with a somewhat unsteady laugh. "I'm going down, and much as I would appreciate your company--"

"Do you hear something, my sweet?"

James froze and Lockhart gave a soft 'eep!' James grabbed him by the arm and hustled him into a broom closet before Filch could find them.

"Oh, dear," Lockhart whispered softly. "My poor lady-suitor will think she's been stood up..."

James closed his eyes. He was going to be stuck in a closet with this git all night, wasn't he?

"The things I do for love," he whimpered quietly, and sank down onto a bucket, cradling his head in his hands. 


End file.
